About two years ago I received a really great compliment from my friend Alison: “John, I just thought of a perfect job for you – Party Initiator.” From a very young age I’ve always had a knack for exuding contagious enthusiasm, “holding court” with my stories, and making fun connections in a variety of social settings. I’m well positioned to share five tips for being the life of the party.
While I understand and acknowledge the importance of celebrating introverts and believe in customizing work and life to better suit their quiet superpowers, I also strongly believe that parties are a place for extroverts like me to shine. Loudly. So, if you’re like me and love parties, people, talking, dancing, and, yes, attention – positive attention – then you might be interested in some strategies for being at the epicenter of fun, connective and memorable office gatherings, graduation shindigs, summer barbecues, and many more social soirees.
The cool thing about this article is that it will not only demonstrate how to enhance a party’s potential, but it will also connect your ability to initiate a party to achieving professional success.
Here are five tips for being the life of the party.
Have Positive Presence
“Everyone! May I have your attention, please?” I developed my ability to benevolently command peoples’ attention at Bishop’s University. Whether I was leading first-year students safely from party-to-party or hosting a History Department “Grog Night”, I practiced my ability to demonstrate gravitas – according to Fast Company’s Lane Bianchi, such a trait is key to establishing executive-level presence in the world of work. “Gravitas is the core characteristic, signaling that you know your stuff cold. You can communicate this with the authority of a leader through your speaking skills and your ability to command a room,” says Bianchi. Someone who is the life of the party creates their own spotlight.
Have Contagious Enthusiasm
“You are an amazing human being.” Our blog has written about the importance of having a positive attitude on several occasions because it is a vital professional skill. People go to parties to have a good time; however, crowds, strangers and relationships often make folks nervous. If your goal is to be the life of the party then your mission should be to make every single person with whom you engage feel incredible. For you there are no cliques, no gossip and no hierarchy of cool: everyone is awesome. Your ability to ooze charisma, excitement and kindness will help influence the culture and direction of the party. Be sure to exercise responsibility with such powers.
Make Connections
“Tell me more. And, after that, I can’t wait to introduce you to some folks who will love talking with you, too.” Being the life of the party means being a better listener than you are a talker. As a party initiator it is your responsibility listen – like really listen – to people and understand where they’re at. The more that you know about the people in the room the more opportunities you will have to make culinary, professional, conversational, and romantic connections. And these connections will infuse even more life into the shindig. So, be a social butterfly who listens authentically to people and pollinates the party with everyone’s stories, not just yours.
Tell Amazing Stories
“…and that’s when the mountain gorilla – The Chief, they called him – ran at me.” Great stories are simple, unexpected, relatable, and evoke an emotional response. Great storytellers are vulnerable, specific and, in my opinion, edutaining – people should be entertained and learn something from stories. In a party, storytellers need to be adaptable, too. Sometimes you will hold court for an hour of spirited dialogue with a small group of people and other times your tale will be brief, be bright and be gone en route to the fridge. However your stories unfold, their customized delivery (because you listened to your audience before you started talking) is one of the most important elements of being the life of the party and, as it turns out, being a leader in your community. According to Bill Taylor’s Harvard Business Review article, “words matter” when it comes to leading pretty much everything. Someone who is the life of the party, as Taylor says, can “talk the walk.”
Dance Like Nobody’s Watching
“At midnight we rock the dance floor. Spread the word.” Sometimes people just need to dance. If you feel the vibe amongst a few friends that there is potential for shakin’ it then plant the seed, water it with refreshments, and harvest when the time is right. Yes, transforming an evening of board games into a dance party is no small feat. But do you know who is well placed to lead such a transformation?
You are.
Because you’re the life of the party!
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This article was originally published on August 13, 2014.