“Wow, John, where can I get some of what you’re taking?” Michael, a colleague of mine, recently said. I’ve heard this before. Over the years, many friends and colleagues have asked what’s in my happy pills. Many natural and learned qualities sustain my happiness – and no, I don’t use any actual drugs (aside from coffee) and haven’t yet figured out how turn what I’ve got into pill form for others.
Although human beings have tried.
In fact, according to Korn Ferry’s Lawrence M. Fisher, “[t]hough mankind has experimented with euphoria-producing substances for millennia, a safe shortcut to psychological well-being has proven elusive and will likely remain so, despite the incalculable market potential for such a molecule.” So, pills are a long way off.
Happiness is integral to building healthy communities in the workplace and beyond. Happy people are natural champions of company culture and get the best out of co-workers, neighbours and teammates because their joy is contagious and they make life fun. In fact, happiness is one of the metrics for well-being that cool organizations like the New Economics Foundation uses to measure success. And while there might not be a pill to make you happy or to help you inspire happiness in others, here’s what would be in it if there was such a thing.
Love
We need more love in our lives, especially at work. Imagine if you made a daily commitment to always attack problems, not people, and that people with whom you interact deserve a warm and genuine connection from you. Happy people lead with love and kindness, not fear and criticism.
Enthusiasm
Who are the people that inspire you the most? I bet that the word “awesome” is used a fair bit when they’re describing things that they love. And they’re generous with high-fives, too. Cheerleading, when authentic, can be inspirational.
Positivity
This trait is something that employers look for in their talent. Being optimistic about your work is the easiest thing that you can do to enhance your career potential. People like people who see potential, not failure.
Realism
Balance your positive enthusiasm with realistic expectations and, perhaps, cynicism. This will help you relate to people who do not typically respond to happiness because you are putting your style in terms they understand.
Curiosity
Hear people when they’re talking and seek to understand how you can help them. Make eye contact and be empathetic to where they’re at. I’m lucky because peoples’ stories – however mundane, weird or oppositional – make me happy.
Social Jujitsu
I love this term that I learned from Jeff Haden. Happy people love talking to people and, most importantly, they make it their mission to make others talk about themselves without knowing that it’s happening.
“Social jiu-jitsu is easy. Just ask the right questions. Stay open-ended and allow room for description and introspection. Ask how, or why, or who,” says Haden.
Vulnerability
Being happy, especially when meeting new people or smiling when everyone else is complaining, means putting yourself out there. This is not an easy journey to go on and will require you to trust that others will honour your happy vibes with ones of their own.
Exercise
When we exercise it changes our brain chemistry and makes us happier. Even 20-minutes of exercise can increase your happiness and well-being. For example, my daily bicycle commute (I ride home up a reasonably steep hill) and working at a standing desk are simple ways that I incorporate exercise into my daily routine.
WOO
Winning Others Over (WOO) is how I incorporate co-opetition (it’s like competition, but everyone wins!) into my happiness formula. I love the challenge of making people feel happy, even if that’s not how they started the day. When happiness spreads around an office space or a party everybody wins.
A Kick-Ass Party!
Happy people not only know how to party, but we know how to be the life of the party, too. The best leaders can make work – any work – fun to tackle. Whether I’m in an elevator, co-creating a learning plan for the year ahead, or wrapping up year-end-reviews, there is always potential for a party.
So there it is. The list of ingredients in my ‘happy pills’ – whether you want to synthetize the behaviours and skills into actual pill form or simply start incorporating one, some or all of these things into your life, I am confident that you’ll be happier for it.