It’s eight o’clock and the meeting was supposed to be over an hour ago. It is running long because it’s being dominated by a small group who ask questions that sound a heck of a lot like statements and have long-winded responses to just about anything. People who disagree are shouted down. You are feeling increasingly frustrated and see lots of upset faces in the room. Other people are starting to visibly zone out. Recently, my friend Phillip and I were talking about people who disrupt meetings. Here are five tips we came up with for dealing compassionately with disruption in a meeting – big or small.
Establish ground rules
One of the first things to consider when meeting with (potentially) quarrelsome people is to set ground rules and a rationale for these rules. Let people know the length of time they can take, framing it as a way of valuing everyone else’s time. Remark on the tone and the importance of approaching discussions with mutual respect and an open mind. Ensure everyone is clear and try to get group buy. That way, down the road if there’s a disruptor, you have a collective contract for expected behavior to fall back on.
Keep an Open Mind
Just because these passionate people seem to be wasting everyone’s time by talking too much. Just because they seem to be channeling negative energy doesn’t take away from the fact that their opinion should be recognized as valued and valuable. Listening carefully to what someone says is half the battle, so acknowledge that you “hear where you are coming from” and really try your best to understand their opinion.
Summarize and then Move On
If you need to interrupt or pivot away from the speaker, try to take a crack at summarizing (very briefly) what you heard them. Then, jump back to your ground rules and continue with the agenda. They might not be happy about it, but they’ll have less of an opportunity to disrupt.
Stay calm
It’s tough to manage emotions when you think someone is being particularly unreasonable. But when push comes to shove, don’t let them turn you into a turkey. Keep calm, thoughtful but also stay firm. You need to be in control of your meeting and if you lose your cool, you’ll immediately lose a great deal of gravitas with many members of your group. You may even be perceived as a bully.
Close with positivity
If frustration is seep into the room, it can be tough to turn this around and energize the meeting. Try your best find some of the best points (if one or two of them come from a disruptor all the better) and summarize them as a packaged result. Consider a call to action and be thankful for the time everyone took to attend the meeting. If things go really off the rails, you may want to send a follow up email, future meeting invitation or summary report to try to end on a positive note. These actions can take away the “bad taste” left with the audience by the disruptor(s)’ actions and bad feelings about how worthwhile the meeting was.
Photo courtesy of justgrimes