Here are three professional lessons from being a new dad.
I recently returned to work after nearly three weeks of amazing family time and bonding with my wife, Michelle, and first child, Miles. As the dads behind this blog, this blog and this blog will tell you, being a new parent comes with all sorts of challenges. From sleepless nights to processing the Internet’s contradictory child-rearing information to managing a steady stream of visitors, being a new parent is a very complex – and very surreal – adventure.
The life of a human being is now in my hands, after all!
Upon returning to work I have noticed some very simple workplace applications for my continuously developing fathering skills. Here are the three most relevant ways that being a new dad is enhancing my potential as a professional.
Planning to Adapt
The Lesson
I wasn’t sure that I would have the confidence to catch my son when he was born, but I did and it was awesome. Heading out for a short walk and running a few errands used to take a few minutes of preparation – and sometimes it still does – but other times the feeding, changing, re-feeding, dressing, over-packing, and double-checking requires 90-minutes of getting ready. On a daily basis, I’m learning to anticipate potential scenarios that I’ve never handled before.
How it Applies
According to Daniel Burrus, anticipatory leadership is the skill for managers in 2014. At Vancity, I manage the team that delivers Orientation Immersion, a learning program that has so many moving parts that we refer to the process as “putting on the world’s greatest wedding twice a month” – needless to say, our best laid plans are frequently changed and our team needs to anticipate potential adaptations.
Embracing Focus
The Lesson
In spite of the compelling data that discredits multi-tasking as an effective practice, I always thought of myself as a guy who could manage many different thoughts, assignments and browser tabs simultaneously. Rarely have I banged-out a blog post in less than three hours and without some kind of sport or movie playing in the background. The arrival of Miles, though, requires me to become hyper-efficient if I want to continue high-performing as a dad, an employee, as a community builder, as a friend, and as the leader of this project. It’s hard to type 600 words with an infant in your arms.
How it Applies
I had a former boss who is kinda sorta the higher education equivalent of Sheryl Sandberg (or at least she’s on her way) in that she had to leave the office no later than 5:17pm in order to pick up her daughter from daycare. Sure, both Sheryl and my former boss are plugged-in until the ridiculously wee hours of the evening/morning, but the point is that they apply focus and mitigate distractions in order to wrap-up all in-person, face-time responsibilities by 5:30pm and tackle any reports, emails and thinking required of them after family time. Another mentor of mine has told me that “there is no such thing as work life balance; there’s just life.” As mine just became wonderfully more complex, I will need to organize my life at work more efficiently to produce the same – and better – results.
Trusting my Community
The Lesson
It takes a village to raise a child. Needless to say, I’m very happy to be from the village/hamlet of Merville, BC that houses my parents and their freezers of delicious meals. I’m also happy to have a sister who is in possession of timely, candid and super-helpful new-parent-tips, not to mention the community of friends that echoes her wise words. Being a new parent is all about vulnerability – every day reveals a previously unknown challenge (“What, it’s normal for a baby to sleep for nearly 36-hours-straight?! And it’s a good thing?!”) that Michelle or I go to our community to solve. And the food – oh the food – has arrived steadily at our doorstep thanks to the goodness of our friends and family.
How it Applies
As a relatively new manager – and new employee – with Vancity, I rely on my colleagues for knowledge, relationships and excellent advice. Everything begins with vulnerability and trust, which is pretty similar to how I feel as a parent. I’m wrong a lot at work and at home and, while Kathryn Schultz tells me that this is part of being human, it is with humility and authenticity that I will ask questions and ask for help from folks in my community who have the knowledge and skills to support ideas and projects that support our work.
To all the new dads and working parents, you are learning powerful professional skills that are as relevant at home as they are in the work you do to build community.
Did I miss anything? What other skills or competencies do you build as a new parent that are applicable to the world of work?