“You are the way that others see you” is, according to the Gikomba Market vendor who sold me a sarong in 2006, a Maasai proverb. When we seek to understand how others perceive our actions and absorb the impact of our intentions we develop stronger self-awareness. When we receive data from others that captures the best version of ourselves then we can develop aspirational self-awareness.
It is a beautiful feeling when the people we love and respect the most describe how they see us and their words match how we imagine the best version of ourselves to be. During Father’s Day dinner my wife asked our kids to “share one thing you like about daddy or doing with daddy” – my oldest son took some time and then said, “I like watching daddy make people laugh and welcome people, so they feel included.”
My heart.
Showing up as an inclusive leader who creates safe and joyful spaces for great work to get done is a best version of myself and it was being articulated by a family member (my most important stakeholders).
With body language and words people in our communities offer us feedback all the time. Processing what we see, hear, and feel can raise our self-awareness and, in this case, our confidence, too.
How do others see you? What should you ignore? What should draw your attention? How does the perception of others match how you see yourself? How does it feel to be seen this way? What would it take to change the perception? Or just let it go?
The best way to learn how others see you is to ask them. I hope what you hear feeds your soul and drives aspirational self-awareness.