Would you let this guy on a plane?! Kreston Ferris is 6'8" of party, people!
I would say that I have traveled all over the world, but really I have visited a small fraction of places on this wondrous planet we call home. There has been much flying in the skies above, though, logging more flight hours than the naval aviators at top gun. This can be a problem for a man of my stature. You see, I measure a mere 6’8, or in european terms 203cm.
You would think that this would be a major factor in my hatred of flying. Quite the contrary, I love flying, and only a few times on flights of 9 hours or more have I been made to suffer. Take my word for it, there is no relaxing for people of lengthy measure on a nine hour flight. Your knees are mashed into the seat ahead of you, this forces your butt to the limit of the back rest, causing you to sit up straighter than Rudolf Nureyev at a formal dinner (awesometangentsidenote: if you haven’t read the book Dancer, do it! It tells a story highlighted by blood, sweat, communism, and ……. ballet!)
I digress, sitting like this for more than ten minutes becomes excruciating for someone that went through a lax education system and spent every class so slouched that I might as well have been sitting on my shoulder blades. I am not used to sitting straight, and, yes, I know I should work on my posture, but I don’t think a nine hour intensive session is the best way to fix it. When you are in any position for too long, you have to change it up. Unfortunately, for a tall person my option is to sit erect with my knees rubbing off on the back rest ahead or, if that doesn’t work, I can scrunch them to the side. This accomplishes the constant pressure of the hard arm rests firmly digging into my sides. Ouch.
Okay, I’m not writing this to complain. Here’s the deal. I just want to
acknowledge that – out of all the flights I’ve been on – I have only enjoyed this torment twice because, generally, I encounter the most caring and compassionate airline personnel. These angels of the sky, upon first glance always take pity and upgrade me to a wing seat. I don’t know if you have had the privilege of enjoying a journey in one of these seats, but it is glorious. There is at least double the leg room and often I find myself sitting among other tall people. We are placed together because of our physical similarities. These people – people like me, tall travelers – flying through the skies, enjoying extra leg room, share a common bond and similar traits. This is one of my communities and, on behalf of us, I’d just like to say that we would like to apologize for the special treatment and extra comforts we enjoy. Just remember that if any flight were to go down, the lives of many passengers would be in the hands of this community because these seats are always the emergency exits. So, be nice to us. Because your fates are in our large, capable hands.
I guess this is yet another example of how size really does matter.