So far in this series we have outlined the profound benefits of relationship-building as well as specifically outlined how it can be done by making a great first impression as well as by doing exceptional research about a contact, associate, mentor, organization, business, university, or community with which/whom you’re interested in creating and growing a successful relationship. Now. Let’s say that you’ve used some of our fantastamazing tips and have made a good first impression, secured a meeting (or two), done some research, and are ready to take your community-based relationship to the next level.

As usual, we’ll start this conversation with some information about pirates. Anne Bonny and Mary Read are probably the most famous female pirates. Actually, they arguably made the inspiration for Johnny Depp, Calico Jack Rackham, famous by association. The three sailed together from 1718-1720 in the Caribbean, after Rackham, a charismatic fellow (not unlike another Captain Jack we know and love), was elected by his crew following the former captain was declared a coward and executed. Rackham, who was engulfed in a fairly tawdry relationship with Read, brought to two women aboard during a stop in Cuba, and the women joined the crew in pillaging small sloops and coastal fishing villages all around the Caribbean.

Life was good (there was even an alleged love triangle between Bonny, Read and Rackham), until 1720 when Captain Jonathan Barnet captured Rackham’s ship. Get this. All the men, including Rackam, hid below deck as the Royal Navy ship approached. Bonny and Read, who Barnet claimed could “swear and fight as good as any man,” charged the approaching sailors, killing and wounding dozens before they were finally captured. And while Rackham was quickly hanged, his body put in a cage near Deadman’s Cay, Bonny and Read, who – I kid you not – were both pregnant at the time, were allowed to have their children before returning to trial. Read died before re-trial, but Bonny escaped with her child, never to be heard from again. Immediately underestimated for being women, it was easy for Bonny and Read to add unexpected value for Calico Jack, who knew they were women, and Jack’s crew, who probably figured something was going on since, you know, both of them ended up pregnent by the end of the threesome’s time at sea. The ladies also did a great job of assessing some of the needs and challenges of the crew (ie. courage and a willingness to fight) and collaborated to overcome this challenge.

In a modern context, adding value to the experience of a potential employer (ie. cover letter for a job), prospective client (ie. sales pitch) or interested community organizer (ie. parade proposal) has never been more important. One thing that I like about this temporary employer’s market is that it’s helping to take a bit of the entitlement outta the Millennials. Gone are the days of showing interest, showing up and getting a fairly sweet job. It’s more competitive now. And, to stand out, one must show how they will add value to the experience of a boss, customer or community. Here are three questions to ask yourself in order to determine how exactly you can make a positive difference in your community:

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  Passion Slays the Dragon courtesy of adam*b

  “Where do my passion, talent and the community’s needs intersect?” Know yourself and know your audience. By combining your self-awareness, research abilities and presentation skills you should be able to demonstrate your interest in a specific community as well as how specifically you fit as the perfect person to address challenges and embrace opportunities in the coming weeks and months. And if there is no intersection, strongly consider why you’re interested in the organization in the first place.

• “What are you going to do for me?” This question comes from your audience. Whenever you are crafting a proposal, cover letter or dissertation-defense (I try to write three or four a year) this should be the question that defines your entire message. Because it’s not about you. It’s all about your audience. For example, perhaps you aren’t the best person for a certain opportunity. As much as you might want to just say “thanks” and walk away, don’t. Ask more questions and get an idea of who a better problem-solver and/or challenge-overcomer might be. If you know someone, then connect that person with your audience. And if you are the “right fit” for solving the problem, make sure that’s what you talk about in your meeting and/or letter to your client, not about how much you will personally and professionally grow and benefit from the experience. If you always strive to give more than you get, don’t be surprised if you always end up getting more than you give.

• “What makes my sales pitch sincere?” You have to mean it. Because, if you don’t, then whatever opportunity you’re committing to isn’t going to be a good fit and you’re not going to be the kind of person who goes above and beyond to consistently add value to the experience of your community. For example, I wholeheartedly believe in the vibrant community of Commercial Drive, which emboldens me to rise above the pointed jabs of its emo-hipster constituents who find it necessary to orate their misplaced displeasure of suit-wearing folk like myself. People who know me and work with me know I consistently bring enthusiasm, creativity and collaboration to community-based projects; recent findings show these traits are slightly more desirable than skateboards, iPhones and skinny jeans. Wear your passion(s) on your sleeve with sincerity, my friends.

So there it is. The benefits of adding value to a client, community or employer’s experience. Robin Sharma has a brief, semi-pretentious story about “delivering unexpected value” in which he recommends that leaders need to “think like a customer, for just a few moments. And then commit to ways of thinking, feeling and behaving that will deliver more to your customers than they have any right to expect.” Fun fact: this advice works exceptionally well for your personal life, too – in fact, I’m gonna pop out and pick up some groceries for a nice, romantic dinner…

As you work on delivering your outstanding value, have fun with it!