It’s Christmas Day, which is a holiday that is supposed to be synonymous with giving. More likely, if you’re celebrating Christmas today you will be experiencing something that Organizational Psychologist Adam Grant calls “matching” – this is when people give and take in equal proportions because too much giving can lead to burnout and too much taking makes you kinda sorta an a-hole. My perspective is that the world needs more givers, especially at Christmas time. Being a giver not only benefits your family during the holidays, but can also provide rocket fuel to your career. When Givers manage their time effectively, we have the potential to achieve spectacular success in work and life. Let’s explore why it’s important to build your giving muscles and how to do it.
Be a giver
In the long run, folks who give without asking for anything in return build stronger communities, earn more and are more likely to have more fulfilling careers. If you read this article before presents are opened then strive to reset for brain to be legitimately comfortable with the gifts you’ve given without calculating what you got in return. If kids are participating in (or leading) your holidays experience then try and call their attention to the look on a parent, grandparent or friend’s face as they opened a gift and delighted in the experience. Focusing on how great our giving makes folks feel is one simple way to make the act more contagious for kids and everyone in their orbit.
Reflect with gratitude
Gratitude is probably the most important capability to build in kids. When we have the capacity for gratitude human beings unlock all sorts of social and emotional intelligence as well as traits like resilience, empathy and humility, which are critical skills for success in work and life. The simple act of reflecting on how great it felt to be given something as well as how good it felt to give something will help to cultivate this capability. If you want to take it a step further then do these two things: first, during Christmas dinner ask everyone to share something for which they’re grateful and ask everyone to share an observation of someone who really loved receiving a particular gift; second, in the days after Christmas, write thank you cards and/or emails that express reflections of gratitude.
The more Givers that we cultivate will create a movement of what Grant calls “pronoia”, which is the act of assuming that people have your back and will give you the best deal, advice, support, time, and experience that they can muster. Sure, this is an aspirational point of view to take, but it’s also the perfect day to share such a gift with all of you.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!