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City Chase – Team Rankings

Riding Dinosaurs
We all wish we could ride dinosaurs.

City Chase is coming up and we here at the Gumboot are all pretty excited. I’m excited for a few reasons. First, I said “yes” to join in on this little competition before having a full grasp of what I’ll be required to do. Run around the city? Check. Engage in humourous challenges? Check.  Help promote the (so far) unsullied name of Mitsubishi? Check. Ride dinosaurs through the mean streets of Vancouver? I hope so.

But even if I don’t get to ride dinosaurs, that’s ok. Do you know why? Because I get to compete with my good friend and Gumboot co-editor John Horn. We’re one of three teams the Gumboot has raised for this competition. Teams are some of the greatest things about adventures. That’s why Batman and Robin had so much fun fighting crime. This time, John and I will be competing against 400 other City Chase teams spread around the Downtown core. But more importantly, we’ll be competing against our fellow Gumbooters (in a friendly way). With that in mind, I thought I’d crib a very modest and basic guide for any handicappers out there looking to wager, which of the three teams are going to finish first. Some of you may say I’m horribly biased. But that’s for you to accusingly say in the comments.

Team John and Kurt

Advantages: They are fast – ninja fast. John’s really competitive and Kurt’s curmudgeonly nature will allow him to soldier through all sorts of physical test and challenges like his forefather’s did in Stalingrad. John is especially cagey having spent a long period of his youth as a Pirate’s fifth mate. Kurt’s controversial nature will allow him to “think outside the Mitsubishi box”. John doesn’t mind cheating and Kurt doesn’t mind that John doesn’t mind cheating.

Disadvantages: None known to man. If you think you know any, you’re probably wrong, so keep them to yourself.

Team Michelle and Stew

Advantages: Michelle is lovely and brilliant. Stew’s nuanced and analytical perspective will only serve to aid their team’s quest for glory. Michelle likes puzzles and challenges. Stew threw out his back, so he may arrive at the race equipped with some sort of cyborg technology that will allow him to fly and run like the Million Dollar Man.

Batman and Robin
The dynamic duo.

Disadvantages: Stew through out his back this week. Enough said. Oh and Michelle’s actually a double agent working for Team John and Kurt.

Godfrey and Mike

Advantages: The recent birth of Mike’s child has allowed him to operate for long periods of time without sleep. His baby-tested stamina will go a long way. Godfrey’s Bay-model good looks could be used to charm unsuspecting young female City Chase organizers. Mike has a lot of tattoos and looks hardcore – other city chase contestants will avoid fucking with his team. Godfrey’s Mini car is ideal for moving from place to place in the downtown urban environment.

Disadvantages: Godfrey’s nautical knowledge and understanding of the seas will not help in the slightest on land. Mike’s curious and introspective nature will lead him on long non-City Chase related tangents losing the team valuable time.

My prediction falls solidly with Team Kurt and John. But let’s see what the rest of you have to say.

5 COMMENTS

  1. Kurt. I’m already cheating. We’ve earned two Victory Points before the race has even started. Thanks also for not listing the Sun as a weakness. That was good of you.

    See you on the course, competitors!

  2. cannot we all be winners? is this is about gumboot teamwork or gumboot beat-downs?

    However, if a team must win, it will be Michelle + the ‘wild card’ replacement for Stewie — and his broken back. Who is this you ask? Well it would not be a wild card if I told you — Gregor Robinson? Steve Nash? Werner? Tina Turner? It could be anyone — they’ll see you on the streets, and you’ll see their backs…!

Comments are closed.

Kurt Heinrich is a Co-Founder of The Potentiality and is also the Managing Editor. For the past seven years, Kurt has worked as a professional storyteller for a variety of organizations and companies. He is currently Director, University Communications at Simon Fraser University, President of the Canadian Public Relations Society (Vancouver Chapter), Vice President of the Vancouver Street Soccer League and Engagement Chair and a Board Director at Reach Community Health Centre.