Every once in a while you come across an interesting little pearl of wisdom online. This time it was thanks to @marcellam who posted this little doozy.
Turns out, over on the other side of the world, there are a few theme parks catering to a particular type of community. It’s all courtesy of Foreign Policy, which have compiled a fabulous list of what they call “The World’s Worst Theme Parks”. After looking through the list, here’s a brief synopsis of some of my favorites. For the full list, click here.
GRUTAS PARK
Where: Druskininkai, Lithuania
What: Grutas Park
Step back into the halcyon days of Stalinism, experience the joys of Gulag life, immerse yourself in the warm embrace of totalitarianism — and when you get a bit peckish, enjoy a tasty meal of “Nostalgija” borscht, “Deer’s Eye” cocktail, and “Reminiscence” starch jelly in the cafe. The brainchild of entrepreneur Viliumas Malinauskas, who purchased dozens of statues of communist figureheads left discarded and vandalized in the wake of Lithuania’s independence, Grutas Park is actually intended as a reminder of the dark days of totalitarianism. It’s not all doom and gloom, though: There’s a playground for the kids and the Gulag train, which puts a lovely spin on being sent to Siberia in a cattle car in the dead of winter. Just make sure they haven’t read Animal Farm before heading to the petting zoo.
SHIJINGSHAN AMUSEMENT PARK
Where: Beijing, China
What: Shijingshan Amusement Park
In the western suburbs of China’s sprawling capital lies Shijingshan Amusement Park, a blatant example of Beijing’s disregard for intellectual property. A near replica of Disneyland’s Sleeping Beauty Castle graces the center of the park, and visitors are greeted by costumed employees in stuffed Donald Duck and Minnie Mouse outfits. Lawyers for the Walt Disney Co. complained back in 2007, but these rip-off artists don’t pick favorites: Among the rides are Jurassic Adventure and Spinning Batman roller coasters. Given the legal wranglings, it’s not surprising that the owners have taken down the website. It’s a shame, as the URL (www.bs-amusement-park.com) really hit the nail on the head.
LOVE LAND
Where: Jeju Island, South Korea
What: Love Land
South Korea has one of the lowest birth rates in the world, with just 1.2 children produced by each woman — far below the level required to maintain a steady population. And with arranged marriages still not uncommon and a prudish, button-down society, it’s only getting worse. The solution might lie on the popular honeymoon destination of Jeju Island, at the amusement park Love Land, which opened in 2004. To get nervous couples in the mood for procreation, the park invites visitors to “appreciate the natural beauty of love,” with attractions such as Breast Mountains, Giant Stone Penis, and the masturbation bike.
LA CAMINATA NOCTURNA
Where: Hidalgo, Mexico
What: La Caminata Nocturna
Come hiking in the beautiful desert hills and river valleys of Parque EcoAlberto, just three hours north of Mexico City — at night, while being chased. The Caminata Nocturna, or night hike, is meant to simulate what it’s like for the thousands of Mexicans that attempt the illegal border crossing into the United States each year. And the local Hñahñu Indians, who run the simulation, should know: Hundreds of their fellow men and women have made the dangerous journey. For well-heeled denizens of Mexico City and a few foreign tourists, it’s a chance to see how the other half lives. Border Patrol agents emerge out of the darkness in pickup trucks, sirens blaring, firing guns loaded with blanks — while visitors run for cover, ducking behind cacti, and scrambling under fences.
