Kim Scott’s book Radical Candor is all about how to have difficult conversations in order to foster a culture of candor. One of my favourite sections tackles how to get to a great decision. As one might expect a Silicon Valley executive / HR master / CEO-coach, it’s got flow charts and everything. Scott’s book has loads of great tips, but here are the best ones we pulled out (along with some thoughts and insight we added from our experience) around getting to good decisions.
Create a culture of listening
You’re never going to get to a good decision if you don’t have a culture of listening. That means people have got to take a break from waiting for their turn to speak and instead focus on hearing what’s being offered by their colleagues. Sometimes this is easier said than done. That’s why I use tactics like taking notes (even if I know I’ll never again use said notes) because it forces me to actually engage and understand what I’m being told enough to put in down on paper (plus it makes people psychologically feel heard and valued). Repeating back what you are hearing is another great way to ensure you are actively listening.
Get Clarity
After you have listened, seek to clarify things. What’s inside and outside of scope? Are there assumptions that are being made that you can draw out? Clarifying the problem is critical. Scott talks a lot of about being clear about what you are hearing, both in your own mind and with others, so everyone is on the same page. Even if you already think you’ve come up with the solution, hold your horses. You are going to want to avoid going straight to “decide/persuade” mode.
Debate
Scott describes a good debate as similar to the experience of putting precious raw stones in a rock tumbler. The process is noisy with lots of friction and at times you worry about the stones being damaged as they clang around, but ultimately they are transformed into gems. In office debates, allowing people to truly engage with a topic can cause plenty of conflict and that’s sometimes uncomfortable. But ultimately a good debate helps you get to the best result, examine different ideas and angles and thoroughly unpack complex issues and problems. Here are some of Scott’s tips around fostering a productive debating experience:
- Keep the conversation focused on ideas, not egos
- Create an obligation to dissent
- Pause for emotion/exhaustion
- Use humor and have fun
- Be clear on when the debate will end
- Don’t grab a decision away just because the debate has gotten painful
Decide
Once you’ve nailed polished the gem of your idea and explored all its facets. It’s time to decide. You can try to do this on your own, but life’s going to be a lot easier down the line if you can find consensus of your team. The decision ultimately has be based on facts and ideally facts that are pulled from people most aware of them. That’s why if you are making a decision from on high, without much input from the people actually engaged with the problem day to day, you aren’t setting yourself up for success.
Persuade
Once you and the team have made the decision, it’s time to prove your point by “showing your math”. Highlight the facts as you understand them, the logic you used to arrive at the decision. Fortunately, the listening, clarifying and debate will all help inoculate you from being perceived as out of touch if the decision isn’t to the liking of some. Be open with the rationale but don’t exclude people’s emotions. Sometimes people who need to be particularly persuaded don’t know quite why they feel something – they just feel it and strongly. Feeling something is a bad idea is tricky to argue with – but you can certainly start by being empathetic and acknowledging the discomfort people are feeling. Finally, Scott talks a lot about using your own credibility (by demonstrating your own expertise coupled with humility – no-one likes an asshole, especially when the asshole is wrong!) to bolster your case and help people get on side (or at least not actively resist your decision).