Resilience is measured by how we recover from setbacks, as opposed to how well we endure tough times in the moment. Obi-Wan Kenobi knows a thing or two about bouncing back from a bad day, which fans observed and opined throughout the semi-divisive Disney series. We met Ewan McGregor’s totally washed Kenobi on Tatooine, lamenting the Jedi’s failure while traveling incognito and depressed from a cave to a sand-whale-carving-station and back again. By the final episode, however, the resilient Jedi fights the galaxy’s most terrifying villain, Darth Vader (or just “Darth” if you’re talking trash after slicing apart his life support system), to a convincing and story-continuity-retaining draw while preventing an intergalactic conspiracy (or at least a kidnapping of a privileged white person). Here are Obi-Wan Kenobi’s five tips for bouncing back from failure.
Embrace regrets
Daniel Pink argues that everyone has regrets and that having them makes us better humans. Here’s what Pink found to be the four kinds of regrets (let’s cross-reference them with Kenobi’s regrets):
- Foundation regrets: people regret making choices that didn’t allow for stability, like not saving money, not working hard in school, or not eating right.
- Boldness regrets: people regret playing it safe and not taking the chance, like starting a business or asking out someone they really liked.
- Moral regrets: people regret doing the wrong thing because people know what’s right and want to do the right thing pretty much all the time.
- Connection regrets: people regret how relationships crumbled over time from neglect (as opposed to a big “blow up” or “epic lightsaber battle on Mustafar” ending a relationship).
From my perspective, Obi-Wan Kenobi suffered from boldness and moral regrets because he didn’t do enough to save his fellow Jedi or stop the Galactic Empire from rising. Undoubtedly, Kenobi also felt connection regrets because of, you know, chopping off his protégé’s limbs and leaving him to burn in hot lava.
According to Pink, when we embrace our regrets, we uncover what we value most. For Kenobi, this meant serving others through his power.
Wear sunscreen
How does Obi-Wan Kenobi make this transformation in nine years?!
They’re wrong. Jason Concepcion is right.
As an authority on the power of the Sun, I can confidently say that Kenobi’s adoption of the classic Jedi-hood did not happen soon enough. UV rays are no joke, people. The transformation could’ve been worse. Thank Yoda for Kenobi’s bounce back towards Sun protection.
Find a youth mentor
Princess Leia is an inspirational youth mentor for Obi-Wan Kenobi. According to HBR’s Jennifer Jordan and Michael Sorell, reverse-mentoring drives culture change by infusing diversity, innovation, and energy into leaders: “reverse mentoring pairs younger employees with executive team members to mentor them on various topics of strategic and cultural relevance … [it also focuses] on how senior executives think about strategic issues, leadership, and the mindset with which they approach their work.”
Great mentors observe behaviour, ask great questions (instead of telling what to do), and offer advice at the right moment. Leia notices Obi-Wan’s fear, wisely discerns the most curious questions to get underneath the problem, and passionately advises action when necessary. When Kenobi can’t help but dwell on his failure it is his mentor who helps him see that the future of the galaxy could not be informed by the past.
She gives him a new hope.
(You’re welcome).
Stand for something (or someone)
The Ringer’s Van Lathan perfectly captured why and how Obi-Wan’s power grew throughout the series. Personified by Leia, he needed a cause to fight for: “he represents this fortress of the light … he might not be able to attack you with his goodness, but he can almost defend anything with it. And I think that the fact that he got stronger throughout this season … the more people he had to protect is a testament to the fact that … he needs a cause. He needs something to fight for. And that brings out the best in him. He is at his most powerful when he is defending somebody or some thing.” Serving others builds resilience.
Inspired by action and service of the greater good, Obi-Wan Kenobi not only expands his Force powers, but also protected his mental and physical health (literally from rocks) through his conviction. When we fight for a cause it can reduce loneliness, combat depression, keep us mentally stimulated, and foster belonging in our communities.
What cause are you fighting for? There are many. Historically oppressed and marginalized communities need allies more than ever.
Be patient
Bouncing back can – and often should – take time. While languishing in a cave or on a couch will erode our physical and emotional wellness, being intentional about how we process grief or failure can generate positive results for ourselves and our community.
For Obi-Wan Kenobi, his patience created the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, and suffering without getting angry or upset. Being patient enabled resilience, as our hero bounced back from many setbacks along his epic journey.
What are you bouncing back from and how will you do it?
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Photo credits: Disney