Sunset kayaking in Drew Harbour on Quadra: GORGEOUS!

Last Sunday, my wife – it still sounds a little weird saying it…”wife”… – and I returned from our honeymoon. While I will not provide you readers with any details of our romanticism, I will discuss a dilemma-ridden, um, discussion that Michelle and I seem to be having each and every day. And here it is: Quadra or Cortes?

No, we’re not talking Spanish explorers or conquistadors or nemeses of Jack Ryan. We’re talking about two Discovery Islands nestled in between Campbell River and the rugged Coast Mountains of BC’s Mainland, which is where we spent our honeymoon. Here is a map to prove they’re real.

It was on these Islands that Michelle and I spent a week of post-wedding bliss. And it got us thinking about where to go when we – eventually – leave the city in search of a more real West Coast existence. So, on which Island will we make our future home? Quadra or Cortes?

Luckily, because I’m a huge nerd, it was easy to create a four-category-five-point evaluation matrix that will help us to determine the more superior island.

Here are the categories:

1. Hilarious/Amazing Island Facts – cool and unique things about the island.
2. The Cultural Landscape – the people-to-people vibe of the community.
3. Local Inclusiveness – this one’s not just about the sense of community on each island; it’s also about how open and welcoming the community seems to be when it comes to newcomers.
4. The Natural Landscape – woods, ocean, lakes, rivers, trails, hills, mountains, and other things that look and smell and feel really, really nice.

The Case for Quadra

John’s Gut Feeling: having spent a week of nearly every childhood summer camping and canoeing around Village Bay Lakes, Quadra has always had a special place in my heart – my recent time spent on the island not only re-ignited semi-dormant memories, but created entirely new and amazing ones, too!

1. Hilarious/Amazing Island Facts – as an island, Quadra shouldn’t lose points for this, but they will because I’m ridiculous: the island’s community website is called “The Gumboot.” About 4,000 people live on Quadra year-round. It also has a fantastically intricate lake system, which I hear is great for naked swimming! Score: 3.5/5.
   

   A view of the Discovery Islands and the Mainland from Rebecca Spit on Quadra.

2. The Cultural Landscape – given its size – big for a Gulf Island, yet delightfully intimate – Quadra has a lot of things going for it: a perusal of The Gumboot  showcases a healthy barter-economy, exceptional arts and crafts, a vibrant community centre, and even Bazaar, complete with knife-wielding performances! Unfortunately, Quadra Island loses a point for the racist shop owner we met. “Where are you guys from,” he said. “Vancouver,” we replied. “Yeah? I used to live in North Vancouver. It’s changed a lot and I’ll never go back,” said the racist shop owner. “Because of all the development, you mean?” asked Michelle. “No. Because of all the Iranians. You know they want to change the street names,” said the racist shop owner. We took a step. And we walked away. You will be happy to know that by the time you go to Quadra his store will no longer exist. Score: 4/5.
3. Local Inclusiveness – during the Spain/Germany World Cup Semi-Final, I was pretty much one of the locals at the Harriot Bay Inn. Best of all, I sat in between a gnarly fisherman and a social entrepreneur from the We Wai Kai Nation who knew each other well had shared a ton of stories during the game. And they were both named John, which leads me to believe that Quadra Island would be a good base camp for a Johnism Education Centre. People also literally walked out of their homes to give us directions and chat with us (this was probably partly due to the big, huge blue heart on the front of our car). Score: 5/5.
4. The Natural Landscape – speaking of locals, many were impressed that Michelle and I traveled to the very end of Granite Bay Road to explore some under-explored hiking trails and lakes. Quadra was heavily, heavily logged at the turn of the century – last century – so there are some pretty sizable second-growth forests that have been nicely preserved and provide a healthy amount of shade. The lake-swimming on Quadra is second to none. Sure, it’s big, but you can get lost in the wilderness – figuratively and literally – easily and have a great time doing it. Score: 5/5.

Total Score for Quadra Island: 17.5/20.

The Case for Cortes

John’s Gut Feeling: Cortes Island is one of my happy places – its remoteness and chilled-out cultural landscape has made it a hippie-haven as well as a destination for super-funky thinkers.

1. Hilarious/Amazing Island Facts – the locals have recently received some flak for
   

   John and Michelle break rules at Smelt Bay Provincial Park!

   not cutting down enough trees – see, there’s no view to the ocean from many (if any) of the roads; there are 950 year-round residents on the island; the “capital” of the island is called Whaletown and, in the “town,” there is a church that fits, like, nine people. Score: 5/5.

2. The Cultural Landscape – Hollyhock, Canada’s “leading educational retreat centre,” is located on Cortes. I feel weird about the place. It’s semi-cultish and really expensive, which negates inclusion (I’m a fan of inclusion). Hollyhock has altered the cultural landscape of the island, as there is clearly a part of the Cortes economy that caters specifically to Hollyhock-goers. Michelle and I checked out a “farmer’s market” that would make the one in Kits look affordable – $20 for a kid’s t-shirt?! This being said, it is a scientific fact that island-communities (except for Manhattan and Hong Kong) are relaxing, chilled-out places – so, you can imagine the vibe on Cortes, which is an island-off-an-island-off-an-island. Sweeeeet. Score: 3.5/5.
3. Local Inclusiveness – Hmmm…at the East End Food Co-op on Commercial Drive, the amazing staff asks everyone “do you have a member number?” This did not happen at the Cortes Co-op – sure, we looked like a tourists, not locals (sort of…I mean, I was in perfect Island Plaid at the time…), but the courtesy could still have been extended. And there is definitely a “locals vs. tourist” vibe that underscores all interactions. This being said, the kid who was parking cars at the Whaletown ferry terminal made up for nearly all of the semi-standoffish nature of some of his fellow islanders. Score: 4/5.
   

   Jellybean was a noble chariot during the island-hopping-honeymoon.

4. The Natural Landscape – gorgeous and woody. I love Smelt Bay and someone who may or may not look like me may or may not have harvest clams from the lagoon in Mansons Landing once or twice; however, Hague Lake is a delightful romp that might be my favourite spot on Cortes. The bike riding was exceptional. Score: 5/5.

Total Score for Cortes Island: 17.5/20.

Shit. It’s a tie. Well, this was to be expected, I suppose. Perhaps the best idea would be to set up Johnism’s base of operations on Quadra, you know, so it doesn’t compete with Hollyhock and so that Kurt can visit more often because it’s just a little closer, and then we could live in a Cortes-Island-Tree Fort a couple of months of the year. What do you think, Michelle?

Thanks for the memories, Quadra and Cortes. We’ll be seeing you soon!