Ever found yourself wandering about aimlessly at a networking event? Everyone but you seems to have paired off and you’re on your own like a wallflower, wine glass in hand and concerned look on your face. We’ve all been there and it can be stressful, especially when you were hoping to make a big splash.
Like it or not, great leaders thrive at networking events. Being able to share brief – yet meaningful – connections with people is as artistic as it is tactical and networking events are at the intersection of what relationship-building-guru, Keith Ferrazzi, describes this way: “business is human, relationships power growth.”
Being the life of the party or Mr. Ferrazzi isn’t always possible. But here are six tips you can use when you are ready to realize your professional potential at a networking event.
Ask questions – lots of questions
This is the most important tip. People are way too worried about being interesting, so folks are rarely get asked about their opinion on sports, food, current affairs, favourite TV shows, etc. The more you ask questions and show a genuine (and this is key) interest the quicker you’ll learn about the person you are chatting with, discover similarities and eventually build a relationship/connection. My three favourite questions to ask are: what do you do for fun?, what interests you?, what feeds your soul?
Professional small talk is boring
It happens to all of us. Two questions into the conversation (maybe after you get passed your name), you are asked what your job is. Sure, that’s important and interesting, but maybe it is far less important to you than your charity work or that car you’ve been working to refurbish for the past year. We have things we love to do and more often than not, they aren’t our work. So why not flip the question on its head and ask what people do for fun. The workaholics will launch into talking about their jobs anyway. But for many other people, this is an entry into an entirely new realm where they can talk about their interests and will simultaneously reveal potential topics of synergy. Trust me, when you get people talking about the things that spark their passion, well, sparks fly in the conversation, too.
Focus on what you can do for them, not what they can do for you
Networking functions can sometimes degenerate into a desperate and unattractive firing-range of this dreaded question: “what can you do for me?”. Can you get me a job? Can you help me with my career aspirations? While it is important to consider how common interests may align, I’ve always found it more helpful to approach a professional conversation based on how I might be able to use my skills/background/connections/
Put a big smile on your face (even if you aren’t feeling the vibe)
In an awkward social situation, especially if you’re new to the group/environment, it is easy to find yourself frowning. Don’t. Projecting positivity is as important as being positive. Unless you’re a millionaire or power-broker looking for sycophants, there probably won’t be a lot of people lining up to talk to you if you’re frowning in the corner.
When the conversation dies, bury it
Sometimes the conversation naturally dies, but everyone hangs around together long past its death like they’re at a wake (and not the fun Irish kind, the sad awkward kind). But leaving a conversation (especially one that’s dead) is ok. Just stick out your hand and with a big (and genuine) smile, thank the person you were talking to for their time and express your gratitude for speaking with them. Then, smooth as silk, turn around and head over to the next person. Doing this will allow you to mix well during the event and preserve your sanity. Remember, networking events are about meeting people, so it’s encouraged to connect with many different folks.
Pass on the introduction karma
The best people at networking functions behave like hosts and they pass on the networking love by pulling in people with common interests, ideas and careers by making rapid introductions that make everyone look good. Being a convener is not only good party etiquette, it also provides you with an opportunity to complement nice people who’ve helped you in the past.