Over the past weekend I went to a Stag & Doe, my second since moving to Southern Ontario. Stag & Does, also known as Jack & Jills or Socials (in Winnipeg) are a central Canadian pre-wedding tradition. Basically, the idea is an engaged couple will throw a fundraising party to help cover the costs of their upcoming wedding. It’s a way for the couple’s community to come together to support them while having a great party.
While like any wedding tradition there is a lot of room to customize the event, Stag & Does seem to have some common general features (based on the two I’ve attended and my limited internet research). They are held primarily as a fundraising event. And as the name suggests, they are co-ed. To attend you usually need a ticket and you need to be prepared to take part in some games and draws over the course of the party. Stag & Does tend to be organized by the bridal party, but sometimes the bride and groom
themselves will host them. And the invitations for Stag & Does often go much further than the wedding invitation list so it is a way for acquaintances and colleagues to celebrate the upcoming wedding along with closer friends and family. Hosting a Stag & Doe doesn’t preclude you from other wedding traditions (like Bachelor/Bachelorette parties, bridal showers, etc.) although sometimes it will take the place of an engagement party.
The two Stag & Does that I’ve been to were quite different. One was a backyard, afternoon barbeque/keg party in suburban Toronto and the most recent one was held at the Legion in Waterloo (adding a whole other layer to the southern Ontario cultural experience). The first Stag & Doe I attended was fairly casual and admission was the main component of the fundraising with food and
beer included. Last weekend was a more structured event with fundraising included in admission, drinks and games. The games included a entrance draw, mini-golf, horse races, Canadian Tire money jar guess, draw for a lottery tree, and draws for a range of prizes (we tripled our number of board games in that draw – we now have 3).
In both cases, one partner in the to-be-wed couple was still a student, so a bit of fundraising actually sense. However, according to my
Winnipeg expert, Socials are held for everyone regardless of whether a couple actually could use a bit of extra cash to have a wedding. I’m not sure if that is the case with Southern Ontario Stag & Does or if they are done on a more “as needed” basis. As well, in both cases, while I know the couple I had/have no expectation of a wedding invitation. The draw is a great party with lots of people, a unique experience and chance to win prizess while experiencing a regional wedding tradition.