Last Thursday I was playing in my weekly Tier 2 Men’s Basketball League game. We won, but that’s not what this story is about.
This story is about trust.
As I sat on the bench during the game (I get tired quite easily when games begin at 10pm), a young man came over and said the following:
Young Man: “Forgive my interruption, sir, but I was wondering if I could trouble you with something.”
John: “Sure thing, what is it?”
YM: “My friend and I would like to shoot around on the next court over. Could we please borrow your basketball? We will just be nextdoor.”
John: “Yes, certainly.” [Hands over the ball]. “Wait a sec. I’m going to need some collateral from you. Give me your hat.”
YM (somewhat taken aback): “Okay, sure.” [Hands over hat].
The two guys took my ball and bounced it over to the court nextdoor. As they left, I was overwhelmed with disappointment in myself. Where was the trust in my community? For years, I have prided myself on being a person who shares and gives more than he probably should based on the principle that people are inherently good and that anyone who receives what I give (secrets, ideas, money, food, drink, trust) would never use it for evil. The interaction above was not reflective of such a philosophy.
While sitting on the bench with my teammates, I reflected on what just happened. And – as I’m known to do – I told a story as part of my reflection. In the above photo from Kigali, Rwanda in 2007, my friend Edouard is wearing headphones (attached to my iPod). And it was the story of my iPod that I told last Thursday night. As with the basketball – my possession – I was so nervous about leaving my iPod with a kid who was sitting on the bench while my team played that I implored some of my teammates and expat friends sitting in the stands to “watch him to make sure that he doesn’t go anywhere.” This was such a fail. No one anywhere near the court would’ve let someone steal something from me. More importantly, no one would’ve thought of taking something from me.
As with the guys who borrowed my basketball, I quickly learned that stealing something from a member of the community just isn’t done. Yes, I learned a lesson about our North American perceptions of possession, ownership and trust during my 2007 adventures in East Africa. And, yes, I need to remember its application going forward.
Because, clearly, I need to work on trusting my community.
Masthead photo courtesy of Acidpix, Flickr.