Its World Cup time and this year there will be plenty of teams whose hopes and dreams will fall by the wayside in the coming month. Meanwhile, back at home, I recently returned from a soccer tournament in Alert Bay, BC. We’ve written about June Sports before. It is a First Nations soccer tournament that draws top indigenous teams from around Vancouver Island. I played for the Vancouver Street Soccer League’s team. We sent a group of 30 men and women to compete in the tournament, but despite our best efforts, our team was soundly crushed by our opponents. There’s something special you learn when you lose by six or seven goals (just ask the Brazilian or German national teams) and the experience had me reflecting on perseverance and loss in sport (and life). Here is what I learned about resilience from the crushing defeat of my team at June Sports.
Defeat reveals character
When you are getting creamed in a sports match you really see the true character of people come out. We mostly started being frustrated and, in some cases, got angry. It was really difficult to be so out-matched, despite a lot of preparation and effort on our part. But rather than letting that negative energy overwhelm us, I was proud to see how resilient our team was. Rather than ragging or chirping about mistakes and failures, my teammates focused instead on putting our heads down and encouraging each other. They were mutually supportive on the field and off of it. At the end of the game, there was a startling amount of good humour, funny stories and general appreciation for having the opportunity to participate. This response to adversity was inspiring for me and a reminder to look beyond the frustration of the moment the next time I run into a challenge that’s just beating me down,
Know what you control
When you are losing badly at something, it can be natural to look around for someone to blame. I’ve played games in the past where I’ve been so angry that I’ve kicked the ball so hard out of bounds that it ricocheted halfway down the field. Losing six or seven nothing is shock therapy for attitude control. The first thing to do is recognize that when you are that outmatched, there really isn’t anything you can do besides try your best and appreciate the experience. Same goes for managing a failure at work or in your personal life. If things fall apart, you can stew or you can give yourself a mental pep talk and focus on the positives. In the case of our trouncing there were all sorts of positives. I got to play soccer on a beautiful remote island with a bunch of friends. I got some great exercise. I didn’t injure myself and I didn’t injure anyone else. I got to get out of Metro Vancouver and into nature – a rare opportunity these days.
Losing with honour gets attention
Despite being outmatched by the teams we played, we worked hard to constrain our frustration and focus on, well, pretty much just defending our goal through both games. Our goalies were top notch and had some outstanding saves. Throughout the struggle, we kept our attitudes in check. We hustled and at the end, we thanked our opponents with smiles on our face. While we didn’t win a game, we did take home a trophy. The elders and tournament organizers recognized our perseverance and rewarded it with a trophy for most sportsman team (plus $300 to boot).