It’s Valentines Day today and I recently watched Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts light up the screen and box office with the romantic comedy Notting Hill on Netflix. In case you missed it, the film tells the story of ordinary William Thacker, an everyday English bookstore owner whose life is turned upside down when he kindles a romance with celebrity Anna Scott. This is one of my all time favourite romantic comedy and a fitting contributor of (romantic) lessons we might all heed moving forward this week. Here are my top five tips for being more romantic from Notting Hill.

To thy own self be true

William Thacker owns a small bookshop on Notting Hill. He’s a bit of a goofball, lives with a super weird roommate and possess a low key wit that he uses effectively against low level shoplifters. Throughout the Notting Hill story, Thacker questions the intentions and actions of his crush, but never does he question his own value. He’s confident about what he brings to the table and that’s probably one of the things that’s most attractive for Scott. Staying true to yourself and not conforming to outside expectations – be they unrealistic or unfair expectations among your colleagues at work or in your personal or romantic life – it is essential for living a happier life. Impress by being yourself.

Don’t gossip

Near the end of our story, gossip nearly sinks the ship. Thacker overhears Scott rudely dismissing him to what we later learn is England’s top gossiping actor. It hurts his feelings understandably and neatly sinks their romance. Gossip – especially in the early days of a relationship – is usually bad news bears. It distracts from substance and truth and quite often sows doubts when they need not be sown. Don’t gossip. And if you’re drawn in, shut it down.

Know what you control

One of the happiest and most content characters in Notting Hill is Thacker’s friend Bella. He’s long fancied her, despite her marrying his best friend and she serves multiple words of wisdom as Thacker processes his affair with Anna Scott. Despite being injured in an a freak accident and losing the ability to have children, Bella remains optimistic and positive. Her relationship with her partner Max remains a poster of relationship success in Thacker’s mind. Bella’s philosophy?
The more I think about things, the more I see no rhyme or reason in life. no one knows why some things work out and some things don’t. Why some of us are lucky and some of us get…fired.

At the core of Bella’s philosophy is that while we can’t choose want life will throw at us, we can choose how to respond. Good wisdom to live by.

Don’t underestimate “charmingly beffudled”

For the 90% of men out there who might not ooze James Bond-esque charisma, Hugh Grant’s performance offers am equally powerful and (hopefully) more truthful approach for sharing your personality and interests. If you are like me and are generally befuddled (the opposite of smooth) around a person of interest, try on the William Thacker approach and be impressed, hopefully, when you end up connecting with the nice girl (or guy!)

Everyone needs love

Anna Scott’s stands in front of William Thacker towards to end of Notting Hill and declare, “I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.” It’s a touching line aimed at downplaying her fame and fortune – these are key concerns for William who fears he will someday be discarded by Anna who wield so much more power than he does. I like the line because it gets to the point that no matter who we are in life. Human beings crave connection, companionship and love. This is an important thing to keep in mind in any relationship, particularly if things are getting a bit rocky.

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