The Setup – Editors’ Cultural Editorials

The last couple of weeks have been big news in the world of soccer. Who would have thought it. Italy and France, super powers of the European and World soccer tournaments out in the first round. France fell out of the touranment in such a ridiculous way, that it managed to embroil Sarkozy and has caused political aftershocks throughout the country. The USA, plowing ahead only to be defeated in overtime by Ghana. And most recently, the Netherlands falling ass-backward into victory and knocking out soccer titan Brazil in the quarter-final.

Truly this has been a bizarre World Cup. John’s convinced that Brazil hegemony as world champions and the dominant soccer power is over. I’m not so convinced. Regardless, a lot of players (and coaches) are going to be heading home with heads bowed and soccer fans enraged. Heads will roll (particularly in France and Brazil). And with that in mind, the Gumboot staff feels this is an excellent opportunity for Canada. We need to get out there and be the first country to offer asylum to the likes of Green, Melo, Frank Riberi (if he beats his prostitution charge) and the entire North Korean team. In one fell sweep, Canada can build an all star (sort of) team. Stephen Harper – think of the possibilities!

An African Moment

Talk about an amazing time. Despite watching almost all their teams get knocked out early on, Ghana seems to be beating the odds. As we write this, Ghana is looking to beat Uruguay. If they manage to do this, Ghana will be the first African team to make it to the World Cup semi-final stage. Huge! And imagine if they managed to win. The level of hysteric celebration would be on the level of Canada’s win in the Olympics. But for ALL OF AFRICA. Because Ghana is Africa – right?

Predictions – Round of 4

It’s a crazy time.

At the time of the writing of this post, the Dutch are moving to the semi-final and it looks like Ghana is heading that way too. Tomorrow, Germany and Argentina will be facing off. My money and soul (at least a little part of it) are on Germany coming out victorious, sending the preferred Argentina team packing. Spain will most likely defeat Paraguay because to be honest, the Spanish are looking beautiful. It’ll then be Spain vs. Germany and to be honest, despite my eternal optimism in the Fatherland, I don’t have any predictions which way it’ll go. On the other side, I can see the Dutch beating Ghana (despite the sky high expectations) and heading into the final.

[INSERT TRASH TALK HERE]

Note: While the earlier section of this article was all Kurt all the time, this special section of Trash Talk incorporates the ramblings of Jon Cherry, Jim Clifford and John Horn – all members of co-editor John Horn’s wedding party. Here’s what they all had to say the night before Germany’s victory.

John: As much as I dislike the flaming sun on Argentina’s flag, I feel that Germany’s flag is angrier and it sucks more. Which has nothing to do with flags, but you get the point. And as much as I like Germany’s team I have to cheer against Kurt. And no one can stop Messe or his mullet.

Jim: Go England. Next time.

Jon Cherry: Tomorrow the degree of Germany’s lost will likely only be equaled by Kurt’s own ineptitude at rock fighting.

Geoff (John’s father): Germany’s youth up front will overcome Argentina’s inexperience in the back. The Calgary Flames are a corpse.

Kurt: All you guys (except Geoff, who rocks!) are going to be eating glass tomorrow after Germany – the machine – bulldozes through the Argentinian side.